Wednesday, April 24, 2024
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TIME Magazine Names Biden, Harris Person of the Year

[SATIRE] No better pair should grace the cover for Time Magazine’s 2020 Person of the Year than Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. If there were a duo that could represent this trainwreck of the year, it would be these two.

I guess Time’s standards are stringent enough that even a presidential candidate who had a turnout lower than a girl’s high school volleyball match could be in the running. He stands next to his Vice Presidential nominee Kamala Harris (who previously called him out as a racist but we guess she is putting those claims aside for the greater good).

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Joe Biden — who we aren’t sure is functioning at even 50% capacity — couldn’t even maintain his attention span during the final presidential debate, to which President Donald Trump (Biden’s peer in age) stood to correct his gaffe about Abraham Lincoln live on national television. But we guess Biden’s decision to mobilize “trunalimunumaprzure” was enough to get Americans paying attention and taking him seriously. For this, we can finally forgive him for introducing the ’94 Crime Bill that could continue to impact the black community today. Biden’s face deserves to be on that Time cover.

At his side is Kamala Harris who now remembers she is a black American as opposed to the Indian American senator who swore into office. But it’s not just her “southern cornbread dressing” that’s suspect. Her history as a California prosecutor and attorney general comes under fire as she sent more than 1,500 people to prison during a span of five years for marijuana. Her appearance on the Breakfast Club was a slap in the face, stating that she supported legalization of the substance.

To add to their merit, the DNC was given the opportunity to hear rapper Ice Cube’s proposition, better known as the “Contract With Black Americans,” but the meeting was deferred until after Biden got elected. (As of this article being written, it’s been more than 30 days since “president-elect” Joe Biden took “office.”) Also waiting to hear back from the Biden Administration is Black Lives Matter. The organization’s leaders have called for a meeting with the “president-elect” and have yet to receive an answer, calling him out on social media. Perhaps they, too, agree with Biden and Kamala being featured on the Time Magazine cover. Regardless, let’s hope they get a response very soon.

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